What an Inmate Life Coach Can Teach You

Prison does a lot of very bad things to the well-being of nearly everyone involved in the system including those who work there. It is an oppressive environment and the oppression and chaos can have life long effects on those who go through the system. It is easy to lose your way. Having a personal mission statement is important to the incarcerated and their keepers. I learned this as a life coach specializing on the lives of the incarcerated and the lives of those waiting for them on the outside. Bars do not stop love.

I have dedicated much of the past 10 years to finding ways to keep the humanity alive in an environment that is basically a factory for homicidal maniacs. The reason I call it that is the sentences are longer, forgiveness on the outside is practically non-existant and there are little or no rehabilitative programs left and if you did manage to rehabilitate yourself you are often banned for life from student loan and housing programs that could have given you a leg up. These are all heavy burdens for people who have already fallen down.

I visit jails and ask these men and women to remember who they are at their core, not the labels, not the number assigned to them and not their mistakes but who they are because it is apparent they are going to be their only hope for survival and success inside and once they are released. What I help them with can help you as well.

Something critical to success is knowing who you are and a personal mission statment can help you with that. It doesn't take very long to get the framework in place.

Lets get started.

A mission is what you intend to do. "It is my mission to ______________. It doesn't have to be a big dream it can be a small thing but one that would make your life more positive.

A Mission Statement is like a map you draw out for yourself to keep you from getting lost on life's journey. You can think of it like breadcrumbs you drop along the way so you can find your way out of the woods.

A mission statement can provide you with a sense of direction and focus. It should inspire you. It can also bring you a sense of peace and even a sense of purpose. A mission statement can be changed at different points in your life so just because your mission statement says one thing now doesn't mean it won't be a bit different in the years to come.

A mission statement is a way of giving yourself permission to be the best incarnation of yourself and to do what you think really matters.

Companies use their mission statements to get all their employees behind common ideas. Ideas they believe are at the core of their corporation; ideas like customer service, best quality and so on.

You are going to use your mission statement to define your core values. You will explore and define what ideas and goals you think are important for you to adhere to.

Your mission statement is something that you can turn to when you are making important life decisions and every day decisions.

By asking ourselves these questions we can keep ourselves on task. , "Does what I'm about to do, mirror my personal mission? Does this get me closer to my goals? Does this decision take into consideration my personal values?" That is how corporations do it and that is how we are going to do it! Why? Because it works.

There are a lot of ways people go about writing their mission statements. This outline is just one way to get you started in the right direction. You can polish this up or write it in a poetic form, make it into a work of art or whatever you desire as long as it is something that speaks to you. You can post it where you can see it every day or you can keep it somewhere you can look at it privately or you can memorize it. The important thing is that you put your heartfelt effort into it and it really reflects the highest and best you desire for yourself. That said, let's have fun.

Do not think too much on any of these questions. 10-15 seconds should be the maximum because your first thought is usually the right one and if it isn't you can change that during the polishing process.

Answer the following questions with only one or two words:

1.) What are your two best qualities? (Example: Loving, Intelligent)

2.) Who are the three most important people in your life? (Example: Mom, Dad, Friend)

3.) If you had to describe each of these people using only one word...what word would you use? (One word per person. Example: friendly, strong, adventurous)

4.) If you could pass on any one of your traits to your children what would it be? (Example: quick-witted, creative, passionate.)

5.) If there were only one rule you thought everyone should follow what would that rule be? (Example: People should not lie. or always wash your hands before you eat.)

6.) What one quality do you look for in a relationship partner? (Example: funny, or handsome or beautiful.)

Now,

Take that list of words and look at them. They represent your core values. These are the things that make you who you are. They are the things that make you feel worthy and influence your daily choices. These are the values you look up to in others and yourself.

You are now going to turn each of those words into an action statement. Example, "I will be a loving person. I will use my intelligence to make decisions that support a better life for me, my family and my community."

Start each sentence with, "I will." At this point it looks more like a unique scout motto instead of a mission statement so now comes the point where you personalize it. Arrange it in a manner so that it really speaks to you. Take out some of the "I wills." Combine some sentences. Add the name of the people's lives you want to make a positive difference in and how you are going to do it. Make it more specific or more universal. Just keep it about a paragraph in length because it is something you want to be able to read at a glance. You could boil it down to three sentences or expand it a little. You could make in the form of a prayer and ask for help in making this higher, more heroic version of you a daily reality. Your mission statement is your compass so spend some time on it and do what ever it takes to help you actively use your positive core values to influence your daily life and live by the values that are most important to you.

Here is an example of a completed Mission Statement:

I will develop courage and a belief in myself and others and be a positive and supportive person growing strong by using the resources I have and developing others. I will continue to evolve and encourage others to evolve too and focus on the highest spiritual good for all involved. I will push myself to build on my assets. I will accept people, places and things for what they are and dedicate myself to being a positive and motivated person. I will shine and acknowledge my own gifts and pass them on. I will finish what I start because completion releases me and those around me to be free.

Note: There were things the author of this mission statement added that did not come from the original questions and you can do that as well.

Allow yourself to have fun with this activity. It is a great family activity you can use with your whole family and it is something I recommend the incarcerated and their families do via mail. It can be really empowering.