Using Change as a Path to Finding Yourself

What doe it mean to, "find yourself?" It means to find what makes you happy at your core. Believe it or not life is meant to be joyous. That can be hard to swallow when you are working at a job that robs you of your time and energy or when your personal relationships aren't what you imagined or hoped. It is however, true.

Finding yourself is about discovering your core values and living those values in your day to day life. It means that we change our lives as best we can to line up with the truth of who we are at that center. This can be frightening for some and for some of those watching the process. No person is an Island and the changes we make have a ripple effect that live on far beyond our own life times. How? The people around us learn from our example and from our mistakes and successes. Each problem we overcome is a leg up for those who follow in our wake.

One may ask, "How can I make a change in my life when I don't really know what I want or who I am?" Well, Change is a fact of life. We make subtle changes every single day. The world around us is always in flux therefore you are already in the process of change. Even at a biological level your cells are being recreated and sloughed off. At this very moment you are changing. Your mind is taking in information and making adjustments accordingly. So relax. You are already doing it.

Changes can be big, like career or life-style changes or they can be as simple as personal nuances, the little adjustments that give a life more richness for example allowing for the small pleasures, a cup of tea, making time to read or something else that would add a little more moment to moment peace. Change can be the very act of self-discovery and finding out who you are now. Who you are now isn't who you were a few minutes ago. You have changed.

In order to find yourself you will need to be more comfortable with the idea of change in your own life. There is a process to finding yourself. It is a journey. It is often called a path. It is not the same for each individual. You can not change for someone else. Change like happiness is an inside job. You can not find someone else's bliss for them. Sometimes your entire life can change for the better simply by doing something as mundane as taking a different path home from work or deciding to set aside 15 minutes a day in quiet contemplation.

What changes have you consciously made in the last month? Can you list them? Have you tried a new product, read a new book, watched a new show or made time for family, friends or body work? What have you done and more importantly how does that make you feel? Is it making you feel closer to your true self or further away? How do you tell? Well, if the change you made makes you feel good, not just in the moment but for a time after, even days and you can project positive outcomes based on this change then you are probably on the right path. If you feel bad during the change, after the change and can project more bad feelings then chances are you are on the wrong path to discovering who you are. However, there is no bad information. The change, even if you didn't like it, did validate that the change did not make you feel good in the long run. This is valuable information for the future.

Conscious decision making is the best way to make your decisions. You can actively observe the way the change makes you feel, what the improvement is and where the change will lead you. That said, journaling can be helpful in tracking these changes and recording the observations. The written results can lend a scientific quality to your endeavors if you are so inclined.

These are some of the things you may want to set down in writing in your journal. What small change will you make today? Choose one change you would like to make in the next four weeks. Identify the change for yourself and chart your progress and how that progress was made. Start with the words, "I am committed to making the following change over the next four weeks and write down that one change. If that one change comes easily then you can add more but there is no point in trying everything at once. The benefit of changing slowly is it lets you keep track of exactly what each change is making you feel. If you change a lot of things all at once then you may get confused as to what change is getting you the effects you desire.

Keep track of your progress. You might have an entry that starts, "My progress for the first week." Then follow it up by listing the three most important things you did to make that progress Do this for each of the four weeks. Then answer the question, "By making these changes what did I learn about myself?"

Paying attention to change and embracing it and even consciously taking control of life changes you can benefit greatly. You can find yourself through trying new things or even giving up old habits. The feelings that making those changes stir both good and bad will reveal a lot to you about yourself. You may even learn to enjoy who you are in the process of becoming.